If I were to die... (Simple Clean Version)

Death is perhaps the most appalling subject I could ever discuss with anyone.   Still, I believe that it is also the most attractive topic I could ever pick to dissert.  Why is death so repulsively beautiful?  That is something I keep wondering myself.   I assume that at one point in time all of you have thought about death  in various ways and yet came down with the same dreadful conclusion - we all die.   It's a sad truth we have to take.  And no matter how indifferent we may seem about the fact, we still do worry and wonder.

Death in plain and simple words - the cessation of all the cells that supports an organism's life force.  How complicated is that?  Six feet under the ground, we'll all be rotting away to join the lifestream once again.  Same as our ancestors that came and lived before us on this bountiful earth.  That is how I thought of death before I turned fourteen.  Easy peasy really.  It's by the book and well supported by science.

All of that changed in an instant...

My bestfriend Melanie Avila died in January 11, 2005.  (If you are a close friend of mine, you probably know about this fact.) I have, in truth, adapted quite healthily in coming into terms about her death. Although, at the other side of the truth, I have not quite forgotten everything about her death.  Adaptation is not forgetting.  It is acceptance.    In a span of seven years, I slowly learned to accept the painful truth - she is gone.  But there never was a day that I wouldn't think about her.  I always do.

Just wanted to share a magnificent artwork about life and death I found on 9gag

When death falls near you or your loved ones, you'll perceive it differently.  At the age of fourteen, I learned about it.  Isn't that a reality check too early?  Heck no!  Think about a 9 year old boy who has seen his mother close to dying two times in a freak accident.  Now that is a wake up call to mortality too early.  That same boy, believe it or not, came up to the World Vision booth and picked a child to sponsor.  In turn for the ordeal, he has developed empathy and compassion at such an early age.  That is something only a person who has met and/or glanced death before their eyes can understand.  

So if I were to die, and die very young, I would like to bring with me memories of happiness.  That in every smile I give, I touch a heart with sincerity.  That in every word I mouth, I bless a soul with kindness.  That in every action I do, I move a person into action.  Life is short, I have learned.  I don't want to waste my time in nonsense.  I don't want to wait in a corner and mutter endless excuses.  I will do, not brood.  If I were to die, and die very young, I would like for my friends to talk not only of good things about me but as well as my faults.  For I am not a god, I am human and err I do.  I am nice to the point of bad but I am not perfect.  I am not a messiah who will save humanity - I am just plain Akemi.  Same as everyone else.  If I were to die,  and die very young, I do not want any awards of any kind.  I have always thought of that as silly.  You can't take that to your grave nor can you proudly say you have earned it.  If I were to die, and die very young, I'd like to apologize to those I have left.  I can imagine how hard it would be for you guys.  Especially for my two little sisters whom I love dearly.

Lastly, if I were to die...I would like to be remembered.  Just that.


And no I don't want to be sent away with words of a love song :)