Allow me to be selfish...

It's been a month and almost two weeks now since I came here to Canada.  Sadly, I am still unemployed even after sending out quite a number of applications to stores near here. Really, I never thought I'd send that many in my life! Here are some stores and franchises I have applied to.

APPLIED FOR 

1. A &W

2. Subway

3. Boston Pizza

4. Safeway

5. Tim Horton's 

6. Starbucks Coffee

7. Cash Converters 

8. Wendy's

9. Church's Chicken 

10.Quizznos Sub 

11.Fresh Slice Pizza

 And that's not even the half of it!  Talk about job hunting.  It IS a skill.  And I hope to learn it well by undergoing this ordeal.  Truthfully, I could have had a job by reference and backing by Lola Pina. They've been telling me that it's hard to get a job if you don't have "back-up"... I wonder why?  And I wonder if it's true.  My mom's been stressed out by my stubbornness for refusing Lola Pina's help in finding me a job.  Truthfully, I've given myself a month to find a job before I give in to that option.  It's not that I don't want to be a housekeeper or that I am too good for the job.  It's a matter of gaining experience in this field.  It's not my pride, it's showing them I can do things on my own.  After all, I'm 22 years old and finding a job is something I should have learned a few years back.  I believe that if I give in and allow them to help me get an immediate job, I will lose a very important experience that I will need later in life.  And another thing, I want to prove them wrong.  That you can find a job even without the "back-up" system they have created.  


I was also quite scared for a while after turning down an opportunity   for training last week.  Without anything to do, I was so frustrated - scared.  I was even thinking pessimistically about the volunteer opportunities  I was interested in.  Is this it?  Would no one want me?   Is this all I can do?  What of my future plans?  What of those people I intend to help?  What of the Filipinos I  intend to go back to?  I was panicking and was overly dramatic about it.  At least on the inside.  At times like these, I start to think of my friends back home.  How they supported me through tough times.  How they pushed me to be stronger.  Stronger than I ever think I was.  I think back to myself and ask, "why?"  Why am I thinking of those bad stuff?  Why was I so insecure?  I stopped...and prayed, like what my big brother would've advised me. Then, my heart was silent.  I thought to myself - like I always do - ah...God has a plan.  


So please...mom, dad, Aiko and Mei, please allow me to be selfish this one time.  I'd like to take a while to experience rejections to learn a lot more about life.  Do forgive me.

A video I made for my friends :)  Ah...best times indeed