A Message to Mom I

In the twenty three years of my life, I think I have never completely told you how important you are to me.   I want you to know that your existence to me is like water.  An essential need to my everyday.  And  though I do (literally) say that I love you, not only with words but with hugs and kisses as well, I feel that it is always insufficient.  That it will always be lacking.  I feel that no matter how many times I give my appreciation, it would never amount to the affection and dedication you gave me your whole life.   Was a hug enough for the warm meals you make every morning?  Or would a kiss take out the stress of staying up late to patch up my uniforms?  I slip by a lot of times without even saying the word "thank you"...and I am truly sorry for those times.  It's not that I don't appreciate you. I am just so grateful to you mom, beyond the countless words my mind can think off.

Remember when I was a kid?  We used to live in this big and lonely house.  For me, the world was the wide living room with the few furniture.  You were there, neatly sitting across the room from where I keep my robot toys and Tomy cars, diligently watching over me.  Mom, I bet you don't know, but in my memories you were a giant.  However, you were a gentle one.  I can remember how I used to look up to you knowing that I can never reach you.  So little and powerless. Then, you'll go and pick me up with your caressing hands to encase me in a warm embrace.  I felt really loved.

As I grew up, I was a little messed up.  I was arrogant and egocentric.  But you know, a kid will always have that phase at one point in their lives.   I am sorry for threatening to leave the house once.  Was it because of the dessert I loved very much?  I can't really remember what the cause was but I am fairly sure it was a childish reason.  I thank you for putting up with me and my rather difficult personality. Whenever I did something wrong, you would punish me but in kindness.  In Florante and Laura, I remember this line,"Pag-ibig anaki'y aking nakilala, di dapat palakhin ang bata sa saya."  You made sure not to spoil me for it will be far more cruel for you to do so.  Although, I still remember that ruler you used to spank me with in fear (Well, mostly it was lolo's belt that I remember in true fear), I look back at the memory with pride.  Mom, you loved me very much to be cruel at times that you need to.

During my awkward teenage years, how could I possibly forget about your warm welcoming of my adolescence.   I bet you worried a lot for me.  I know how reluctant you were in letting me out to the world. For you know how it works, you have raged your youth in it and found how scary the outside world would be.  But you respected my age and acknowledged my petty wisdom.  Slowly, you let me out of my castle to spread my little wings.  You helped me take that first step to independence and supported me in whatever decision I made.  I thank you mom!  I never would have pulled through today if you haven't allowed me so.

Now, as a young adult, you face yet another hurdle in motherhood.  I have expressed my intention to leave the house after saving up some money.  You must feel lonely just thinking about it.  Maybe that is why you always feel lonely...because you are thinking of the near future of me and Aiko leaving you. Please remain strong and courageous as you are!   Remember that we always love you even if we are far away.  From the day I was but a little baby inside your stomach, you have filled me with the seed of love that grew with every warm touch and kisses you gave me.  It will continue to grow and it shall bear fruit to every thing I do.  And perhaps yes, in moment's glance, I'll be planting seeds of love as well in your grandson's (or granddaughter's) heart just as you have with us.

Please continue to support me in everything!

I love you mom!  You're the best!  

A Look at the Red Cross First Aid Instructor Training

In the pursuit of personal development and self improvement, I have, once again, committed myself to volunteering.  This time around, I am dedicating my time to Red Cross's SmartStart Program for teaching multilingual individuals first aid.   It's been almost a year since Amelia Foster, my wonderful first aid instructor, directed me to this program and finally, things just fell into place. I was rather frustrated last summer when no news came from Red Cross.  Apparently, there were some funding issues last year so the SmartStart Program couldn't be executed.  Who could blame them really?  A thousand dollars ($1,000) worth of training for each volunteer was needed and if not enough money was allocated to the program then it won't run.

A picture of the Red Cross Lower Mainland Center in Burnaby, BC

We first engaged in the two days "standard" first aid course.  I took it last year with Amelia but Kenny, the head of the SmartStart program, said that it is better to take it to refresh our memory.  After all, we will be teaching the course itself, so, repeating all of the content would reinforce that knowledge to your brain.  the more you remember, the more accurate and detailed your lecture will be, right?  And, lo and behold!  The manikins we used during the first aid course.

Resusci Anne manikins

These are older dolls compared to the ones I first encountered when I took the Standard First Aid Course last year.  Amelia had those Anne dolls with a flashing light at the acromion end of the clavicle.  If the light is green, it means you're doing the compression at the right pace, depth and force.  However, if it is orange (or red?)  it means, you are either doing the compressions too fast or too slow, too light or too heavy.  But of course, those kinds of manikins are more expensive.  And as much as I know how Kenny would like to update the equipment for teaching first aid, she can't really spend money on that right now, considering the mishap that happened last year wherein the program wasn't able to run because of money restrictions.  Maybe in a few months or so, they will have a few of those manikins.  Or maybe they already have it but they just don't bring it out much.  Anyway, when you are in the field, it wouldn't matter if you used those more advanced manikins or not.  All that matters is how you will be able to deliver CPR immediately and as accurately as possible.  No flashing lights to tell you that you're doing it right or not.  Just the unconcious person in front of you, a lot of bystanders and your knowledge of first aid.

So aside from practicing the cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), we also practiced almost all of the skills in the first aid hand book.  Bandaging and splinting took the longest!  We weren't able to finish on the first day and had to carry over the lower extremity splinting on the second day.   And it's also kind of funny how we were dismissed earlier on the second day, considering how we covered a lot more topics that day.  Maybe it's because there were fewer questions that day and a lot more floor work.  After all of the skills were done and Kenny was satisfied with what we were showing, we wrapped things up.

After care!

From left to right:  Irene, Mona, Me, Sun, Sam, Kenny and Silvia

I asked to take home a baby doll because I found it hard to give the baby breaths.  I wasn't satisfied with the practice I had and felt that I could improve if I practiced more at home.  Kenny was happy to lend us all the dolls!  Elie Mei practiced with me and pretended to be the baby's mother.  It made practice more fun!  The skills test went fine after that so I guess I have to thank my little sister for being in character for me.  From here on out though, I have to retain the knowledge I got and strive to improve the detail I put in practice.  That way, I could improve the content of my teaching.   I can't wait to share these magnificent life saving skills with other people.

The Baby Anne manikin I took home :)

Hoping to better myself along with Red Cross!