Regarding Death

By Akemi

In mornings of hope

You tread the land

Of soft green hue

And mellow rays of sunshine

So bright thy name,

So bright indeed!

And in your brightness there lies...

A pitch of black

With a little bit of mourn

Reckon!

The lone nights of worry

Shall I sing another day?

Or shall they find my body in bed...

Lifeless, naked and pale

Never to sing nor dance.

A world past liminality-

Do heaven I go, or in the pits of hell I suffer?

Or perhaps I'll be stuck in purgatorio

Waiting for prayers of friends close to heart

And strangers I was destined to befriend

But the cord was cut too short.

Oh if I fall into the night,

What shall become of me?

Shall my soul see myself in the pure white coffin

That I have dreamt of those a many nights

Or shall my soul be claimed by the wheel

And be blessed by another life

To spread love and goodness

In any form granted.

Or shall I return to the elements?

To the earth that embraces me to eternal sleep

Or to the wind who has heard my voice

In waters who nurtured my body

And in fire which warms up the soul

Or...shall nothing become of me but be dead?

To those nights you fear,

Oh you fear indeed!

That in your brightness lies...

A pitch of black and mourn

And in your name follows...

The shadow of sun and moon

In your lifeness...

There is death

Yes, these nights of needless worry,

You close your eyes and embrace the darkness.

Written on June 21, 2013

Thoughts on Orwell's 1984

*WARNING!  SPOILERS AHEAD.  IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK YET OR HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET, I SUGGEST YOU DON'T READ AHEAD.  OR IF YOU WANT, YOU COULD SPOIL YOURSELF TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT*

A few years ago, I have read George Orwell's  "The Animal Farm".  Since I have been utterly moved by how the novel displayed political ideas that similarly haunts my home country, I have decided to read his other popular novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984).  Well, the actual reading of it has been put off many times due to several reasons but when I encountered this golden book almost three weeks ago - I knew I just had to bring it home!  Those thin cracks on the front cover, the blunted edges of the book and not to mention the rough and ashen pages of this print makes it all the more interesting to read.  It feels as though, it had come from the dystopian time where Winston exists.

Look at this baby!

A world with endless war...that is the future Orwell had created. A future where no man can freely speak, write, think nor do what he wants. Words are shortened to abbreviations and sentences are obliterated.  If they must think, think in Newspeak! People are encouraged to dispose of the old English and to narrow their vocabularies as much as they can.  It is a world where the past is in absolute change and the personal and/or collective memories of people are to be doubted. A world where you don't watch the telescreens, THEY WATCH YOU (and even monitor your heart rate as soon as you turn your back). A world where chaos IS the order to follow. And yet, in this hopeless setting, Winston and Julia found love.  (T-T)    And this is not your typical "boy meets girl" type of romance - it was a homicidal relationship!  That's why  I was so shocked when Julia made that grade school confession.  I didn't imagine an "I love you" in that paper she passed to Winston so discreetly. It didn't even cross my mind!  Here was Winston detailing on how he would kill her with that glass paperweight and then all of a sudden she was in love with him. I expected conspiracy, the underground brotherhood, a secret message calling allies against Big Brother.   But no, it just had to be love.  Orwell got me on that one real good.  

The proles are the hope

After that, they went on a love making spree.  Not that I expected anything pure in their relationship though.  Winston is a healthy middle aged man with sexual activities deprived from his daily living, for years!  What do you expect when both of them meet in secluded locations in the outskirts of the city? It's a funny thing to note too that after their first love making, almost 40 more pages (not sure on the page count, but it was long) are spent on their continued nakedness.  And yes, sorry for my naivety but I was taken aback with the sudden nudity in the film.   I guess I haven't imagined far enough when I was reading the book.  I was all right with it though.  Just...a little surprised the first time.   It took long enough before the "real" conspiracy started.

Sometimes, Winston. Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes they are all of them at once.

True to the paranoid thoughts of Wilson as he wrote away in his notebook, he was captured by the thought police after "joining" the fake resistance group.  I knew it!  That O'Brien was trouble. He was suspicious from the start.  Years ago, when he told Winston that they will meet in a place with no darkness, I knew of his evil intentions. What was ironic about that was, he may have been the one to spark the rebellious thoughts of Winston by delivering those misleading words.  He planted the seed of doubt in Winston then left him opportunities to act on his own will until he did the opposite of what the party has allowed an outer party member to act on.  Like buying the notebook and quill from Old Charrington to start the diary in Oldspeak.  Or continuing the affair with Julia under the Inner Party's noses.  He was tortured in the Ministry of Love (aka Miniluv in Newspeak) for who knows how long!  Winston was treated as if he was the insane one and reformed into thinking that "2+ 2 = 5" if Big Brother wishes it so.  Truthfully, I couldn't fathom what he underwent in Miniluv when I was reading the book.  I felt bad when I was reading  the part where O'Brien showed Winston his hideous form in the mirror but I almost cried when I saw the movie!  

Look at that pitiful face!

I thought to myself, "Aw men, I would totally be losing my mind after that."  How much more do they want to degrade him to nothing?  And then BAM!  Room 101 cracked Winston to the bones.  I have to be honest that I liked how the movie built up the Room 101 suspense by the montages of it opening to a bright open field.  But, the way the book described how Winston surrendered his love for Julia to save his own butt, got to me better.  In the movie, the Room 101 was almost anti-climactic.  Or was it in true observance, anti-climactic?  Come to think of it,  Winston and Julia's reunion in the movie had the same feel as well.  Their reunion in the book felt so poignant!  The feeling of betrayal and helplessness.  Wah!  I most especially felt as guilty as them when the line, "underneath the chestnut tree, I sold you and you sold me" rang out in the novel.  

Dun Dun Dun!  Mr. Charrington of the Thought Police

However, I just have to say, that the most surprising character in the book had to be Mr. Charrington!  In the book, and somehow even in the movie (though I know from the book that he was part of the thought police), he struck me as an inconspicuous character.  When I was reading the book, I just had to reread the arresting part again because I couldn't believe what had happened.  There could be some mistake!  I mean, he was this sweet old guy who had a lovely wife then all of a sudden, he wasn't.  I just had to make sure, if I was too sleepy to understand what was going on.  In the initial phase of Winston and Julia's arrest, the mysterious voice that came out of the hidden telescreen was a bit confusing because he just kept on repeating what they had said.   

Winston: "We are the dead."

Julia: "We are the dead."

Mr. Charrington: "YOU ARE THE DEAD!"

(After the telescreen was revealed)

Julia: "Now they can see us."

Mr. Charrington: "Now we can see you...(more dialogue)

Winston: "The house is surrounded."

Mr. Charrington: "The house is surrounded."

Julia: "I suppose we may as well say goodbye."

Mr. Charrington: "You may as well say goodbye!"

Who wouldn't be confused by that? So, after making sure that my reading wasn't affected by my sleepiness, I succumbed to this fact. Talk about utter betrayal.  Mr. Charrington really left a bitter aftertaste.

Overall, Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984) is a great read like Orwell's Animal Farm.  The latter novel illustrates how a republic erected with altruistic intentions can turn into a host for parasitic oligarchs. The former, goes far into the future, wherein the oligarchs have created a perfect system to keep themselves in power. In all honesty, it didn't strike me the same as Animal Farm but it brings about the same message to us.   That we must protect our freedom from oligarchs.  Don't be ignorant!  That will lead to opportunists to build this type of false democracy and shall  eventually subject the mass to do their biddings.  It may seem like a troublesome feat but believe it or not, the fact that you are thinking of "being aware" is troublesome for you and unnecessary is already a start of ignorance.  And from there, spreading your opinion on how troublesome it is to educate yourself will hop on every person you know like wildfire.  Then you are left with people who are apathetic.  Ah yes!  The perfect breeding ground for oligarchs no?

Most touching moment of the film, Winston succumbs to his fate

At the end of the film, I was still touched and felt heavily disturbed as I did when I have read the novel.  Nineteen Eighty-Four is definitely one of the best political novels there are in existence.  So read it!


Bonus screenshots that I got from the movie:

Two minutes hate?  Not really how I imagined it

Winston's face as he tries to see what kind of smile Big Brother has under that stache

Booya! Duck face!