What Else To Do?

What Else To Do?

I think, Lord, of heaven

I think, Lord, of You

I think, Lord, of Mother

What else to do?

In a world so restless,

This heart swims with fear

Of the false light it offers

In the new age, nothing is dear

Then what else to do truly?

But contemplate on God

To know His army in heaven

Saved by His Mighty Rod

What else to do truly?

But break each day for our kin

To profess heaven and be a witness

To His throne that overcame sin

What else to do, Lord?

But give praise to the Living God

With angels and saints, sing! Glorifying Him

'Til our voices unheard to ourselves

Let our cups overflow to the brim

What else to do, Lord?

But bring my heart

Leave everything behind

Then the new creation

Start

March 22, 2015

Pride

Pride

How much is it 

To break a man's heart

Until it turns ice cold?

A thin slip of ice over Grace

Can crystallize deep

Without the Blessing of Water

How much is it

To temper acold a man's heart

Until it turns to steel?

Layers of rust

Moves deeper and deeper

To cover the Blood of Life

Some hearts more clear than others

Cracks of the glorious fight

Lay visible to the eye

Some hearts opaque with darkness

As if it has long been made

Of coldness...not flesh

How much, oh how much Mother,

Can a man's heart

Grow hard in pride

As if love never entered

Mother, how much vanity 

Can a man's heart hold onto

Until the thorn

Pierces His soul deep 

And it cries for salvation

Or has it already?

For in the beginning,

Pride was our sin

And in generations henceforth;

Pride is passed on 

And oh, how it calls upon its friends

From the abyss

To lead astray 

In our dark intellects

Play questions that strive to stir our hearts

To rid of the Light of Love

How they play Mother,

How they play...

Even promises of salvation

Can be clouded with pride

"To be a saint"

My lips dare say

The evil one offers

My name resound in generations to come

How vain of me, my Lord

To think of such enticing

How vain, my Lord

Forgive me...

Forgive us...

For breaking ourselves for ourselves

In Your word, we lean not

And when graced, how soon

We turn to stone

And hold onto Your merciful blessings

As our making

Can we Lord be deserving still of You?

Can we Lord still deserve to return Home?

Oh sing thy heart, then sing!

Stir up the Living Water in thy soul

Cry for the Lord and lay your case

For He'll rather have You that

Than you be lifeless of indifference

How hard can a heart be

Tell me...

How hard can one's heart be

Brother, sister, how hard can your heart be?

If the Lord shall give you signs

That you ask,

Still, doubt pierces your heart.

Then you ask again with a vain heart.

His most pure heart, you pierce

And He bleeds, He bleeds

To cleanse your never-ending iniquity

With His love

How much more do you pierce Him

With your hard heart

Until you're satisfied?

Each time, you will to make heavy

The heart no longer flesh

Until it sinks to darkness.

Where has your pride taken you

But to death, each day

Here and now,

You choose...

Break and be alive!

Alive in Him

April 26, 2015

All That's Left Is...

All That's Left Is...

Borne of water

My soul...

The name You've written

On Your hand

Springing forth from

A thousand thoughts of dreams

At last You call!

Happy thy heart

How peaceful thy soul

To serve its Maker

On a mission bound for Home

As poor as I am, Lord

You've shone Your Majesty

And shared with me thy Mother's wisdom

Left in arms of angels and saints 

To realize then

Much love You've given me

All that's really left is 

To share it

April 25, 2015

Baptism of the Holy Spirit

Baptism of the Holy Spirit

Today, 

Our hearts are a battlefield.

He who was risen

Fights valiantly

In the desert of our hearts.

To win over

The territory hidden

By the walls of pride.

Today, 

We are fought for.

Today,

Our soul shall tremble

From the majesty of the Risen - Of Christ

Brothers and sisters,

Today,

We are claimed 

Let vanity crumble

At His word

To let the Holy One 

Immerse in the debris

We lift you up

At the foot of His Cross

Where much healing is dropped

Surrender and fill it!

Fill it with Love and nothing else

As your unworthiness surfaces,

Fear not, for we have a haven.

The Blessed Mother and her saints

Shall send down a shower of roses

And our souls shall

Ever be consoled

By His fragrant Love.

Today,

Let us toast for the victory He promises.

Today,

We are kindled anew.

Forever ignited in His Love.

Only...say yes.

November 23, 2014

Faith

Faith

Tempered, calmed

Iron wrought to sound

Melts to Thy heat of Love

And hardens to banish doubts rebound

Have I Lord, given Thee my heart?

Have I Lord, been brought to You?

Have I Lord, been claimed for paradise?

For I feel it through and through

In this Earth, I am set apart

And yet called to be One with my fellowmen

Have I Lord been bought for heaven?

For surely, my heart, it is Peace

And Lord, 'tis true,

In people, I see

Your will in me

A kindness seeps through the soul 

By and by...

Merciful,

Thank You for this gift...

This faith for a doubtful heart

Let me share it then 

With my brethren

The Love it is borne from

And may You, Lord

Never take it away

For without faith, 

Without Love...

My soul shall crumble 

In coldness

Let me then die for Love

Let me then die for You...

December 29, 2014

Have I Loved?

Have I Loved?

Tell me...

Have I loved lately?

Through the briars, pricked my heart to love

Tell pray...

Soon as the burst of light

Fills to the brim

Have I loved?

Too soon, we pull from thorns

Scathe from shadows past

Wallow in collection of self-indulgence 

Pray tell!

Have I loved?

In this cycle, we feed none

But the weeds of pride

'Til thorns grow round the heart

Letting no love in, nor love out

What then lives?

What then dies?

Take apart the heart 

To save what is left 

As each compartments grow small

In its love

Half a heart given,

Half of half shall return

Until thorns grow hard and thick

Like corundum

Yet corrodes easily in spite

Like chalk

What then is left?

What then is gone?

What then...is love?

I pray, Lord, should my heart

Give way to hardness

That you break it to pieces 

Wet the debris with Your grace 

And mould it once more in Your healing

Then I shall say to You,

Oh Merciful God!

"I am saved by Love!"

Saved from the pride

Saved from the thorns

Saved from myself

Most Gracious, Most Gracious...

Should fear take hold 

And shackles bind my mouth

Let me smell Your Mother's roses

To remind me of You

Let my heart be as fearless as Yours

To choose Love each time,

To take in the wrath and hurt of others,

Lift them up to the Father

And it shall be gone

Then, oh then, My Lord

My lips dare say,

"Ah..."

"I have loved..."

Written October 12, 2014

Finished October 23, 2014

The Joys Of Having A Public Library

"There is not such a cradle of democracy upon the Earth as the FREE PUBLIC LIBRARY...where neither rank, office, nor wealth receive the slightest consideration."

- Andrew Carnegie

Reading, as much as writing, has been a major part of my life.  I am in honesty, very much in love with reading.  I don't know when it started but for as long as I can remember, I've been hogging books at my nightstand.  Assiduously exploring the different worlds offered by each books - every new word expanding the territories of my imaginative mind.  However, in the twenty years of my life, I never knew of the bliss of visiting a public library.  A free, totally updated, no padlocked encyclopedias, public library. Well, that is, until now.

I grew up in the Philippines, a third world country where more often than not books get washed away by yearly floods.  Coming from a middle class family, I was one of those lucky kids whose books don't get washed away and even if they did, my family has the money to buy them back.  The earliest books I remembered having were those Disney colored books - the ones with the golden spines.  I had them at the age of 3 and re-read them a lot.  Who doesn't fancy those happy ending stories eh?  I'm proud to say that a decade later, they've been in good condition as both my little sisters were able to use them as well.  At the start of pre-school, my mom provided me a lot of reading comprehension books and math worksheet books.  Quite the "Kumon" training really, as my elementary days were full of those books.  I enjoyed them so much that my mom decided that I was ready to read novels.  Really mom?  Buying "Moby Dick" and "The Swiss Family Robinson" for a seven year old?  I tried reading it for a bit but I didn't last a page!  Five years after, I would find out that Moby Dick was one of the hardest read novels in history.  Fancy that!

What I was most fascinated with most though, among the ton of books mom bought for us was the Britannica Encyclopedia set.  Ah...those golden edges and the crispy smell of that special paper they printed it on. It was just amazing beyond words!  I woke up to the Nara bookshelf filled with large black books and with all three layers of the two-meter long furniture, occupied.  Mind you, they seemed endless for a kid like me!  You know how Belle reacted when Beast showed her his magnificent library?  That's how it felt.

Wow!  Much amaze!  Such Books!  Wow!

Looks very much like the City Centre Library at Surrey Central (well, to me that is ^-^)

Naturally, having grown in a house where I can open all the books I want, I was excited with our school's library.  Since I was the lucky first born, I was enrolled in private schools.  They have libraries! Public schools as I reckon, rarely have one or even if they did, the books aren't updated as much as private ones; even for some, they constantly rebuild their libraries everytime the books get soaked with mud after great floods.  So, I was really lucky.  The libraries at school not only had textbooks for gradeschool, they had encyclopedia sets as well.  Much like the ones at home.  It saddened me though, that the school keeps them out of reach.  They have the encyclopedia sets and other "expensive" prints padlocked.  The school staff have it displayed on lacquered furniture and they dust it off regularly but, they wouldn't let us touch it so freely.  The only way to have them opened is to ask permission from the principal!  In a formal letter with parent's signature. Seriously? Why would I do that?  It was a really troublesome feat for a youngster like me back then (and maybe to some of my classmates but I never really asked.) I wouldn't want my mom to constantly tell me that it was too much of a hassle to borrow the books I like.  It was already hard convincing them to buy me books that were unrelated to school. 

All I wanted to do was to read the encyclopedia.  I'm tired of the kiddie books and textbooks similar to what I use in school.  My mom already bought extra ones I read after school.  All I wanted to do is to compare them - to find out if they had a picture of the Great Wall of China like the ones we have at home. If they have cool DIY experiments I could do as well.  If the Hittites really were the first ones to temper iron. Or if they have a different story about Pocahontas's life - like the Disney one. (Yeah, I was kind of disappointed when I knew of the real story of Pocahontas) My school library treated the books like they were cursed jewels - never to be touched.   If you don't read them, what use will those words be?  Treasure was to be found there but they let the years pass as the information becomes stale.

Friends, let me tell you, a book unopened is as good as a blank paper.   

Just last month, I remember my big brother posting in his Facebook status, a commentary made by Ambeth Ocampo - a historian and great writer.  It went like this:

"FILIPINOS ARE NOT A READING PEOPLE, and despite the compulsory course on the life and works of Rizal today, from the elementary to the university levels, it is accepted that the 'Noli me Tangere' and 'El Filibusterismo' are highly regarded but seldom read (if not totally ignored). Therefore one asks, how can unread novels exert any influence?”

I agree wholeheartedly with him. It's true that Filipinos are not a reading race. The source of it can be traced out to a lot of political plays and simultaneously ingrained with historical roots. Although, I never considered myself a non-reader, I have to admit that I did not constantly read books.  Partly because, I never really saw my elders do it, but mostly because I was not exposed to different types of books.  You might find it weird but I only really read our Britannica set before I was exposed to other books in my teenage years. (exempting all of the school related books) Totally weird right?  I never read Dr. Seuss's work until I got here in Canada.  I never even touched a newspaper unless I needed it for a crafts project.   I started reading mysteries and classics in highschool and Filipino literature in early college.  The compulsory reading of "Ibong Adarna", "Florante at Laura", "Noli Me Tangere" and "El Filibusterismo" during highschool were tad boring for me.  Mainly because the teachers weren't as excited in the literature as they were supposed to.  They were only excited to grade us in questions of identification of characters and their dialogues; to see if who memorized the book and characters.  But they have failed to ask relevant questions on reflection and how those masterpieces relate to our present culture.  How then can we appreciate reading them?  And what more for those who didn't even touch the books?

If you think about it, I am only a part of a small percentage of the Filipinos who do read and keeps themselves informed.  Do you know why?  It's because I'm part of the middle class who can afford books.  I had an early access to them at home that is why I have grown to be this way - grown up to be an informed reader.  The poor don't have this kind of privilege.  They must rely on public libraries, which are few and most probably are protecting the books from the people it must serve.  A paradox of the inherited title - public but not really public. 

Therefore, I am grateful of Canada's public libraries.  Thank you for existing!  I would never have known the joy of visiting the libraries if it weren't for you.  Books are free from being encased in fragile glasses and people are not kept out by iron bars.  You always display the books at the entrance to make me and the other readers feel welcomed.  Thank you for trusting me. I could never bring home the maximum of 50 books at a time but I would like to try that sometime. Hope that I won't lose one of them though, if I bring them home.   Thank you also for always keeping the bookshelves organized and up-to-date.  New books come in everytime to fill the community with new ideas.  Thank you for buying my suggested books!  I was surprised when you called me up and told me that I had a "held" book; it was the "Pathological Altruism" book that I suggested 3 months before. Wow!  I thought the suggested items were never really taken seriously.  Thank you also for encouraging me to suggest more books.  I am happy to know that my "wants" are important to the wonderful collection you keep.  I felt honored - that I actually have the power to shape the community with the books I choose to suggest.  Thank you for not banning books!  The library is a haven for our aspired ideal of faultless democracy - all ideas are welcomed.  And most importantly, all kinds of people are welcomed.  Whether you're rich, poor, newly landed, unstable part-timer or overly worked employee, you are duly welcomed.  Services are the same for everyone. They won't ask for your name or judge you for what books you decide to take. It might as well be paradise.  So, what I suggest everyone do is to go to your public libraries today and thank your librarian!

LONG LIVE LIBRARIES!!!

The Centre City Library in Surrey. Look at that!!!  I could stay in it and never go home