Showing posts with label finding yourself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label finding yourself. Show all posts

Monday, 11 May 2015

What Else To Do?

What Else To Do?

I think, Lord, of heaven
I think, Lord, of You
I think, Lord, of Mother
What else to do?
In a world so restless,
This heart swims with fear
Of the false light it offers
In the new age, nothing is dear
Then what else to do truly?
But contemplate on God
To know His army in heaven
Saved by His Mighty Rod
What else to do truly?
But break each day for our kin
To profess heaven and be a witness
To His throne that overcame sin
What else to do, Lord?
But give praise to the Living God
With angels and saints, sing! Glorifying Him
'Til our voices unheard to ourselves
Let our cups overflow to the brim
What else to do, Lord?
But bring my heart
Leave everything behind
Then the new creation
Start

March 22, 2015

Pride

Pride

How much is it 
To break a man's heart
Until it turns ice cold?
A thin slip of ice over Grace
Can crystallize deep
Without the Blessing of Water
How much is it
To temper acold a man's heart
Until it turns to steel?
Layers of rust
Moves deeper and deeper
To cover the Blood of Life
Some hearts more clear than others
Cracks of the glorious fight
Lay visible to the eye
Some hearts opaque with darkness
As if it has long been made
Of coldness...not flesh
How much, oh how much Mother,
Can a man's heart
Grow hard in pride
As if love never entered
Mother, how much vanity 
Can a man's heart hold onto
Until the thorn
Pierces His soul deep 
And it cries for salvation
Or has it already?
For in the beginning,
Pride was our sin
And in generations henceforth;
Pride is passed on 
And oh, how it calls upon its friends
From the abyss
To lead astray 
In our dark intellects
Play questions that strive to stir our hearts
To rid of the Light of Love
How they play Mother,
How they play...
Even promises of salvation
Can be clouded with pride
"To be a saint"
My lips dare say
The evil one offers
My name resound in generations to come
How vain of me, my Lord
To think of such enticing
How vain, my Lord
Forgive me...
Forgive us...
For breaking ourselves for ourselves
In Your word, we lean not
And when graced, how soon
We turn to stone
And hold onto Your merciful blessings
As our making
Can we Lord be deserving still of You?
Can we Lord still deserve to return Home?
Oh sing thy heart, then sing!
Stir up the Living Water in thy soul
Cry for the Lord and lay your case
For He'll rather have You that
Than you be lifeless of indifference
How hard can a heart be
Tell me...
How hard can one's heart be
Brother, sister, how hard can your heart be?
If the Lord shall give you signs
That you ask,
Still, doubt pierces your heart.
Then you ask again with a vain heart.
His most pure heart, you pierce
And He bleeds, He bleeds
To cleanse your never-ending iniquity
With His love
How much more do you pierce Him
With your hard heart
Until you're satisfied?
Each time, you will to make heavy
The heart no longer flesh
Until it sinks to darkness.
Where has your pride taken you
But to death, each day
Here and now,
You choose...
Break and be alive!
Alive in Him

April 26, 2015

All That's Left Is...

All That's Left Is...

Borne of water
My soul...
The name You've written
On Your hand
Springing forth from
A thousand thoughts of dreams
At last You call!
Happy thy heart
How peaceful thy soul
To serve its Maker
On a mission bound for Home
As poor as I am, Lord
You've shone Your Majesty
And shared with me thy Mother's wisdom
Left in arms of angels and saints 
To realize then
Much love You've given me
All that's really left is 
To share it

April 25, 2015

Sunday, 22 February 2015

Baptism of the Holy Spirit

Baptism of the Holy Spirit

Today, 
Our hearts are a battlefield.
He who was risen
Fights valiantly
In the desert of our hearts.
To win over
The territory hidden
By the walls of pride.
Today, 
We are fought for.
Today,
Our soul shall tremble
From the majesty of the Risen - Of Christ
Brothers and sisters,
Today,
We are claimed 
Let vanity crumble
At His word
To let the Holy One 
Immerse in the debris
We lift you up
At the foot of His Cross
Where much healing is dropped
Surrender and fill it!
Fill it with Love and nothing else
As your unworthiness surfaces,
Fear not, for we have a haven.
The Blessed Mother and her saints
Shall send down a shower of roses
And our souls shall
Ever be consoled
By His fragrant Love.
Today,
Let us toast for the victory He promises.
Today,
We are kindled anew.
Forever ignited in His Love.
Only...say yes.

November 23, 2014

Faith

Faith


Tempered, calmed
Iron wrought to sound
Melts to Thy heat of Love
And hardens to banish doubts rebound
Have I Lord, given Thee my heart?
Have I Lord, been brought to You?
Have I Lord, been claimed for paradise?
For I feel it through and through
In this Earth, I am set apart
And yet called to be One with my fellowmen
Have I Lord been bought for heaven?
For surely, my heart, it is Peace
And Lord, 'tis true,
In people, I see
Your will in me
A kindness seeps through the soul 
By and by...

Merciful,
Thank You for this gift...
This faith for a doubtful heart
Let me share it then 
With my brethren
The Love it is borne from
And may You, Lord
Never take it away
For without faith, 
Without Love...
My soul shall crumble 
In coldness
Let me then die for Love
Let me then die for You...

December 29, 2014

Sunday, 10 November 2013

Seven Ways To Motivate Yourself

As part of the rehabilitation team, we occupational therapists use our disposition to be therapeutic.  In the purest sense, we must be motivated to move others.  For how can a full-fledged bonfire start without the tiny sparks?  But, of course... we are human as well; and oftentimes in our adult lives, we face daunting situations that leave us feeling dejected.  Even for some, the everyday "normal" lives make us feel dull and jaded - that we are stagnant of some sort.  This slump can go on for as long as you allow it to.  And yes, when you're in that pit of boredom and frustration, you might start to think that that is where you ought to be - decrepit and useless.  As Dr. Seuss said, "Un-slumping yourself is not easily done."

Here I share with you the things I usually do when I'm in a slump.

1. Take a walk 
I've found that when you wake up in the morning and you feel that certain uncomfortable nudge of the slump, it will set out to keep you at home.  If it starts to whisper, then the best thing to do is to GO OUT. Take a walk!  By taking a slow walk outside, you'll be able to give yourself time to reflect. You'll notice small things that you've never concerned yourself with before.  Minuscule circumstances like a child walking with their parents, an old lady waiting for the bus, teenagers walking with their friends on the pavement and cars bustling by as you take your walk.  Random acts of kindness like a man opening a door for the next person or walking by the dangerous side of the pavement to shield a stranger.  And in that simple walk you took, you'll be filled with obscurity of wonders - how people in your small community live their best in small ways.  That your existence may be small but significant and surely, as you traveled from your house to whichever direction you went, you're unmotivated self too shall pass.  

2. Read something inspirational 
I always believe that words have spirit. That whatever kind of words you speak can hold a person captive or unbind them if you will.  It goes the same for whatever you feed your mind.  Words that you read can inspire you into motion or keep you prisoner in your current mindset.  True to my belief, I have survived the adjustment phase in Canada by living on my everyday "inspirational something".  Be it a quote from a scientist of the past century, a contemporary poem or a Dr. Seuss book, I read them and let them linger in my mind.  It's even funny to admit that I look forward to reading Vancouver 24 Hours's horoscope because I find them inspiring.  The way in which they construct their sentences are always so positive and encouraging. I also have this application with lots of motivational quotes that randomizes quotes everyday. I start my day empowered by such words and still do.

Here is a list of quick motivational reads and links to quote sites I frequent:
1. Don't Quit Poem - a very famous poem since I was a child.  Whoever wrote it, kudos to you.
2. If - by Rudyard Kipling - this is a great poem to make you start reflecting on yourself.
3. Mutability by Percy Bysshe Shelley  - a poem that will make you realize the world is never stagnant.
4. On Quitting by Edgar Guest - a poem telling on how hard it is to let go of something you truly love.
5. Brainy Quotes - frequent site I visit for quotes.  They have an archive of quotes in landscape backgrounds.
6.  Think Exist - frequent site I visit again for quotes.  No pictures however.
7. I Like To Quote - an imageboard for quotes that is easy to share with social media.
8. Incidental Comics - I recently discovered the genius of Grant Snider.  He has some really great stuff in his site about a variety of topics.  Well, mostly art but still his works are quite inspiring.


3. Listen to music
Much like how words move you, add melody to that and you have magic.  I grew up in a house filled with song and I've realized how music can generally empathize with you to heal your soul.  To me, listening to music is like breathing, like going back to the basics of life.  There's nothing like a song that can express your remorse and unmotivated self then another different song to cheer you up out of that slump.  Listening to music always has that connection to one's soul.  It hooks deep and fishes out those bad feelings and can patch it up nicely with warm, positive ones.  

Here is a list of some moving songs I like and recommend (may contain Japanese songs):
1.  Closer To The Edge by 30 Seconds to Mars - a song about determination in life and looking past your regrets.
2.  What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger) by Kelly Clarkson - definitely one of those songs to pump up your day with self confidence
3.  Firework by Katy Perry - an uplifting song on inner beauty and potential.
4.  Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield - I heard this song first from a shampoo commercial and got hooked!  It's about taking the future into your hands.
5. What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong - quite an old song that will make you reflect on the bigger picture of everything. You'll be thankful for the small things that make up your life.
6. It's My Life by Bon Jovi - it's a lovely rock song about following your will and pursuing life with unrelented passion.
7. Have A Nice Day by Bon Jovi - another Bon Jovi song that string up the daily dose of courage you need.
8. Defying Gravity (from Wicked) by Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth - from a broadway musicale about fighting for what you believe in.  There is  a Glee version but I prefer this better.
9. One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks - a song about reaching your goal by taking one small step after another.
10. Skyscraper by Demi Lovato - Demi's comeback song rising up after failing many times
11. Who You Are by Jessie J - a very powerful song speaking of loving yourself as you are.
12. The Climb by Miley Cyrus - Disney Miley's song on facing obstacles in life.  
13. Try by Pink - a new song by Pink about taking chances in love.
14. When You Believe by Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey - a classic song by two unbeatable divas of our time regarding having faith.
15. Bad Day by Daniel Powter - probably the most famous song in the list if I might say so. The most empathetic song in the list too. Who would've thought it was released a decade ago?  
16. Complain by David Archuleta - a song from Archie's 2nd album which moves you to action.  
17.  That's The Way It Is by Celine Dion - a love song released almost 15 years ago that never fails to uplift my mood.  It's about not giving up and working hard in your relationship.
18.  Chances Are by Five for Fighting - actually a love song but speaks of taking chances on life.
19.  Warattetainda by Ikimonogakari  LYRICS TRANSLATION - a song that describes strongly moving into an optimistic future .
20. Dareka ga by Puffy AmiYumi  LYRICS TRANSLATION - a popular song from the anime Naruto that speaks of supporting each other in fretful times.
21. Muteki no Kimi by Fukuyama Masaharu  LYRICS TRANSLATION - a song by my favorite J-artist about independent women and their courageous souls.
22. Against Wind by Akutagawa Jirou - a song from the anime Prince of Tennis about adversity and how you could overcome it.
23. Brave by Sara Bareilles - a fairly new song about standing up for yourself.  The video is quite interesting as well like here "Uncharted" one.
24.  Makenaide by ZARD  LYRICS TRANSLATION - an old Japanese song from the 90s about not giving up.
25. Uncharted by Sara Bareilles - I love this song!  It speaks of moving forward from where you are now to your goal.  

4. Do something productive
Unbeknownst to many, accomplishing a little task everyday could greatly improve your disposition.  Setting a small goal such as arranging your clothes in the closet or trimming your house plants and finishing it can help you feel fulfilled throughout the day.  Take a moment to think about the time when you are in an upsetting mood, then you engaged yourself into something that produced results. There is a certain satisfaction in that. The feeling is small but its effect in your soul resounds through your body - like a raindrop creating a ripple in a larger body of water.  Start by doing small things a day then proceed to bigger tasks to complete.

5. Keep a hobby
There is nothing comparable to immersing yourself in things in which you can express yourself freely. In the midst of the almost maddening effects of the slump, you'll find that engaging in your hobbies will keep you sane.  It is entirely different from other activities which we "put effort" in most of the time, as the motive to do them comes intrinsically.  The motivation to do them comes out naturally as though the hobby was already part of you even before you were born.  Thus, we rather than expending energy and getting tired, we become emotionally charged when we do our hobbies.  If you don't happen to have one or feel like you need a hobby change, then try looking at the community board and find something that may pique your interest.  

6. Self-reflect and move on
I confess to my abysmal habit of reflection.  Most especially towards myself.  I have always been delving in thoughts of queries and answers.  At times when I feel unmotivated, I try to look inside myself to find the reason as to why I am in such state.  Why do I feel down?  What events lead to me feeling suddenly unmotivated?  What did I do to remedy those?  If there weren't anything I can do about those things, then what am I supposed to do?  Those kinds of questions come up and somehow, through the long process of rationalizing with yourself, you'll be able to know just where you stand right now in life.  And from there, you'll pick up on your trail.

A beautiful art about self-reflection found in Incidental Comics!


7. Pray
I find that at times when everything just falls into chaos and that no matter what I do, I can't seem to relieve my restlessness, I pray.  When you've tried all of the things that can possibly cure your seasonal slump and still it won't go away, perhaps it's time to surrender your mind to a Higher Power.  You'll find the peace you need.


That's it for my 7 ways to motivating yourself. These are the things that work for an introvert like me.   I suggest browsing through the song list!  They are absolutely wonderful. And feel free to suggest things that work for you when you're unmotivated on the comment box!   I might try it out and see if it will fit for me too.  (*^_^*)

Here is a little advice I got from Aboriginal Day (@^ - ^@)



Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Do we still sing Paraiso?

It has been two decades since Ryan Cayabyab has written the song, "Paraiso" and today it still stands as controversial as it was when it first came out in the 90's.  As the song continued to ring truth around the world, the people have yet to find and utilize the hope they have long been searching for amidst the trash.  Last year, I had a chance to volunteer for Aspiring Citizens for Community Empowerment (ACCE) for a short while and although the head of the organization told us that Smokey Mountain has changed a lot from what it was before, you can visibly tell that it's still far off from actually improving.  Some houses have been built with concrete but had cardboards inside as mats and a thin blanket for windows and doors. That is for only a little part of the place. If you go further, you will see houses built with thin plywood on top of trash. The supply of water is also scarce - only certain parts have it.  They deliver it via a long hose duct taped together to reach the place.  Guess what the hose travels to?  Yes, garbage. People there get sick from diarrhea and typhoid.  These are all preventable diseases really and yet the Filipinos there get infected and much worse yet, they die.

During the interview with a local household there, the Japanese students and I found out that a family survives with only five hundred pesos (Php 500.00) a week at maximum.  That is around seventy - one pesos (Php 71.00) a day. With the current minimum food requirements attainable at a doubled price of a hundred and seventy-two pesos (Php 172.00), I think it is very apt to say that they barely "eat".   And for that amount, the government expects five members of the family to eat the following meals for a day:

BREAKFAST
An egg plus rice 
Coffee with milk

LUNCH
Mongo with malunggay
Latundan Banana
Rice

MERIENDA
Pandesal

DINNER 
Tulingan fish
Boiled Kangkong
Rice


Then what of those who live of with lesser income?  Must they rely on picked up food from the trash?  Or must they only offer their children noodles and rice for breakfast until dinner?  Must they continue to think that everything with a "Sangkap Pinoy" seal is healthy enough for them to eat everyday?

Supplements are good but not enough to keep people healthy

What's more shocking to me is, the government is actually using this food bundle price to measure the poverty rate.  "It was never our intention na pababain ang poverty incidence.  Siguro dapat lang ma-stress na ginawa lang tong refinement so that we can more accurately identify the poor.", Jessamyn Encarnacion, the Director of Social Statistics Office stated in a news interview with GMA.


Seriously?  They got away with it for almost ten years?


Really?  How low can oligarchs go?  There are so many dimensions to scale poverty and they only choose this?  Saddening.  Truly saddening.  Having worked at public hospitals during my time there as an occupational therapy intern, I met with the sad truth that poor people are getting poorer.   There even used to be a "free" classification for those who can't afford being treated at hospitals but now, there is none because of the millions of pesos cut from health.  On top of that, the government can boldly tell people not to worry as they suck their brains dry from the budget cut on education as well.  The government is raising a generation of people to be dumb enough not to question them with their corrupt ways.  And by being ignorant, we, in turn, are raising them as well!  




The news about food bundle for 2011

Apathy is what keeps us from reaching paraiso.  In twenty years, everything has changed and it had turned for the worse.  I don't mean to put the blame on anyone but in all sense, we make ourselves.  We did it to ourselves - the past generation and the present alike.  Keeping track and just watching isn't making a difference at all.  It just makes you part of the problem too.  And in all honesty,  for the past few months that I've been staying here in Canada, I am saddened by the mindset of those who have fled from the Philippines.  Not that I can blame them though, most of them had really tough lives when you hear them out.   But it's heartbreaking when you hear how they just plan to live off their lives peacefully here because the condition in the Philippines is really bad.  You always hear them talk about how bad it is there, how lucky that you're here and things like, "wala na tayo magagawa".  Coming from the mouth of a fellow Filipino tsk tsk tsk!    Yes, we are the lucky few who did get here!  Yes, we are the Filipinos who have more power than those back home!  Yes, we can do something!  


YES!!!

YES!!!

YES!!!

I'm sick and tired of people who say NO!  If we truly care about the land we were born in, we would look back.  And we will act now!  A later or an "I'll think about it" is a chance for things to turn for the worse.  And although poverty is far off from disappearing, together, we can start the change.  Together, we can make a difference.

Don't let the next decade sing "Paraiso" still.  






For the next generation, let us make a stand today.


Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Just be you...


You learn something new everyday.

If there was one statement that could greatly describe how I perceive this new life I'm trekking, that will be the quote right above.   Somehow, with all the foreign things surrounding me, I can't help but feel like a kid.  Getting out of your comfort zone has never been this extreme!  Believe me. There are what we call basic "awkward~" situations where you get a little uncomfortable. But with simple and basic socially awkward situations at least more or less you are self-aware of the comfort endagering situation.  You have at least a marker on this one.  You know, like crossing the imaginative line of personal space or going out of your house gate when you were still a child.  Think about leaving that marker and venturing out into an unknown place, where people speak different languages and everything just seems so...NEW!  Right now, after all the nerve-wracking (and not to mention painstakingly humiliating) awkwardness I have been secretly carrying on my back, I have reformed to being a child.  So socially awkward sometimes that I have no care if I have acted rather ridiculously - like a child telling a green joke by accident.

The thing is immigrants like us are welcomed here in Canada and being awkward is fine.  Hey nobody is perfect!  You can't be all good at mingling with people right away.  But you can try.  Just try and try and eventually you'll get better.  Like a baby learning how to walk.  You have to risk falling before you actually learn.  And I bet that didn't just happen overnight.  You had to learn how to turn over first, sit unguarded, stand with the help of furnitures and practice letting go.  You can't just skip it all.  Take risk and be awkward.  Be you.  Afterall, you're building relationships so as much as possible honesty must be present.  They may find you weird at first or ...well, I can't think of anything except for weird so we'll just go with that. That's just how it is!  I tried to talk "casually" as soon as I got here and woah...you wouldn't believe how excruciatingly awkward I was to those people I have talked to.  I stuttered, mumbled, went out of topic and in the end I was talking in one word descriptors.  Talk about desperate communication right?   Nevertheless, I tried because I know that that is the only way to go.  I'm glad I did strike up those childish conversations though.  I can say that I have gained confidence in speaking and the stuttering is almost gone. My flightiness is a little hard to deal with but I think I can manage that through PGH style modification.

Hooray for Sir Jerry and Ma'am Ai~!!!  Thanks for straightening me out when I was still in Ward 7.   It's a great help now.

So view everything like a child - without prejudice and malice. I bet you'll find the world a better place.  Let me tell you it is easy if you try.  Just let His wisdom guide you (or you could just go with the weather topic.  Yes, it always works.)








Sunday, 16 September 2012

Inferiority Complex

by: Akemi

Met an eagle in flight;
How does he keep himself so high?
The eyes' meeting - I cower in place...

The eagle gracefully landed;
How does he do so?
Closer yet still far - I'm awed...

I do what a weasel does;
Trying to be the best at it
Scouted around - I notice others...

All listened to the eagle;
How majestic he really is
Everyone aspires - I remain low...

Is there such a thing as equality?
A mere weasel like me knows;
Just a glance - I'm left behind...

Monday, 13 August 2012

Give yourself a day

Here  is a poem I've written last May 24, 2012.  I wrote it when I felt really helpless and it perked me up after.  I pray to those who read it to take time for themselves. Please allow yourself a day...



A DAY TO MYSELF
By Akemi

A day I give to thee
My priced treasure, myself
A day to brood 
A day to ponder
A day to be selfish
And eat food with wonder
A day to feel 
A day to think
When all is wrong
And you're at a brink
A day it is
A day it shall
To fulfill your greatest wish and
Hope that tomorrow, also it shall
A day to escape all of it
And also a day to come back
A day to find you
A day to know you
A day to realize the greater things
And find the small you
Living in a world of wonders


Give yourself a day guys and find where your heart wants to go :)