Bruised Still

It has been almost two weeks since I "tried" donating blood at the newly opened blood clinic near our place and it's sad to know that the bruise I got from them is far from disappearing.  The nurse was bewildered by my body's unique anatomical ingenuity - the hard to find place to safely puncture the vein.  I was told of it before when I first donated blood.  The medical technologist had a hard time deciding whether to put the needle on the right side or the left side.  Eventually, he picked the left side because he said that I have something on my right side - a blockage of some sort.  Maybe it was a unique hypertrophy of muscle although, I'm not really sure.  Anyway, I warned the nurse about taking blood from my right antecubital area.  I told her, "They usually go for the left." 

Nasty bruise I got from donating blood

  In the end, I didn't get to donate blood.  What a pity too, they had such nice and comfortable seats.  I won't be getting my Canadian Blood Services donor card soon. *sob*

See this cool card of Cristie Rae!  I want one too!  

  I refused the free snacks because I didn't really donate.  When I left, they were all whispering about what happened.  I guess I'm pretty famous now in the clinic. I bet that when I go back there after this bruise is healed, they'll recognize me immediately.   I hope that the flustered nurse wasn't traumatized by the incident.  And I hope I get to donate blood the next time.  I have such a rare type too like Cristie Rae - B Positive. Only 7% of the over all population in Canada has it.

Give yourself a day

Here  is a poem I've written last May 24, 2012.  I wrote it when I felt really helpless and it perked me up after.  I pray to those who read it to take time for themselves. Please allow yourself a day...

A DAY TO MYSELF

By Akemi

A day I give to thee

My priced treasure, myself

A day to brood 

A day to ponder

A day to be selfish

And eat food with wonder

A day to feel 

A day to think

When all is wrong

And you're at a brink

A day it is

A day it shall

To fulfill your greatest wish and

Hope that tomorrow, also it shall

A day to escape all of it

And also a day to come back

A day to find you

A day to know you

A day to realize the greater things

And find the small you

Living in a world of wonders

Give yourself a day guys and find where your heart wants to go :)

First taste of rejection

"It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character." - Dale Turner

A stone may make you tumble, but you didn't lose your feet.  Stand up and move on.

I tried to apply for Omega Pizza today and made a terrible mistake of dialing a wrong number when the place was deserted around 1 pm.  In turn, I got rejected and was told to find an easier job than pizza making.  He was assertive though, Mr. John Sharis.  Although, I can't help but cry.  The taste of rejection sucks.  It's really bitter and it makes you think of highly unreasonable things.  Pessimistic things.  And I don't like it.  This must be the cost of the experience I wanted from being selfish.  Truthfully, I have anticipated events such as this one and I've been rejected (more nicely though, not in person) by stores up until now.  I never anticipated that I'd be rejected by missing out a number!  My gosh!  For someone who've studied the anatomy and physiology of the human body and have handled corpses, I was ...yes, rejected for that.  Funny, I came back to the ground after that.  Yes, even if you've been to medical school and such and have handled people with disabilities (e.g. physical, mental, developmental, etc.), you still need to pay attention to the basic work behaviors.  That is:

CONCENTRATION

ATTENTION SPAN

FRUSTRATION TOLERANCE

IMPULSE CONTROL

You go back to the basics.  Sigh....

I admit to myself, I was impertinent.  I was really thinking I could do this no matter what cost.  But I let myself slack by mistaking a number.  Thank you for being me back to the ground Mr. Sharis.  I truly am not cut for making pizza (yet).  As of now, I think I should learn from this mistake by never letting my head soar up the skies.  Thank you really.  Although it cost me tears, it will also bring me towards the path on being an ideal occupational therapist in the future.  When the time comes, I will come by Omega Pizza again and thank you, Mr. Sharis.  

Mistake accepted...I'm moving on to my future more determined than ever.

Allow me to be selfish...

It's been a month and almost two weeks now since I came here to Canada.  Sadly, I am still unemployed even after sending out quite a number of applications to stores near here. Really, I never thought I'd send that many in my life! Here are some stores and franchises I have applied to.

APPLIED FOR 

1. A &W

2. Subway

3. Boston Pizza

4. Safeway

5. Tim Horton's 

6. Starbucks Coffee

7. Cash Converters 

8. Wendy's

9. Church's Chicken 

10.Quizznos Sub 

11.Fresh Slice Pizza

 And that's not even the half of it!  Talk about job hunting.  It IS a skill.  And I hope to learn it well by undergoing this ordeal.  Truthfully, I could have had a job by reference and backing by Lola Pina. They've been telling me that it's hard to get a job if you don't have "back-up"... I wonder why?  And I wonder if it's true.  My mom's been stressed out by my stubbornness for refusing Lola Pina's help in finding me a job.  Truthfully, I've given myself a month to find a job before I give in to that option.  It's not that I don't want to be a housekeeper or that I am too good for the job.  It's a matter of gaining experience in this field.  It's not my pride, it's showing them I can do things on my own.  After all, I'm 22 years old and finding a job is something I should have learned a few years back.  I believe that if I give in and allow them to help me get an immediate job, I will lose a very important experience that I will need later in life.  And another thing, I want to prove them wrong.  That you can find a job even without the "back-up" system they have created.  


I was also quite scared for a while after turning down an opportunity   for training last week.  Without anything to do, I was so frustrated - scared.  I was even thinking pessimistically about the volunteer opportunities  I was interested in.  Is this it?  Would no one want me?   Is this all I can do?  What of my future plans?  What of those people I intend to help?  What of the Filipinos I  intend to go back to?  I was panicking and was overly dramatic about it.  At least on the inside.  At times like these, I start to think of my friends back home.  How they supported me through tough times.  How they pushed me to be stronger.  Stronger than I ever think I was.  I think back to myself and ask, "why?"  Why am I thinking of those bad stuff?  Why was I so insecure?  I stopped...and prayed, like what my big brother would've advised me. Then, my heart was silent.  I thought to myself - like I always do - ah...God has a plan.  


So please...mom, dad, Aiko and Mei, please allow me to be selfish this one time.  I'd like to take a while to experience rejections to learn a lot more about life.  Do forgive me.

A video I made for my friends :)  Ah...best times indeed

Leaving Philippines

Emilio Aguinaldo College Bachelor of Science in Occupational Therapy Batch 2011-2012

I'm leaving for Canada this June 10 with my sister.  This time it's going to be long.  For a year or so and I really don't know how to react (or at least I think I don't) to this new situation.  My friend said that "parang hindi ako malungkot" but I am sad.  It's just that I have my family over there too so I have my feelings all mixed up.  I am sad to leave the country that I grew up in, but I am happy to meet the family I left there - my mom, dad and little sister. Leaving is such a hard thing, that I know well. I don't want to think of it as somewhere not here on Earth.  I remember when my bestfriend died during highschoool, mom told me to think that "nangibang bansa lang siya", just to ease the pain of being left.  And I think I have for a while now.  I think I have thought of her as someone who travelled to an unreachable place.  But my situation is different.  I mean, come on, with all the technological advances in the last decade in order to provide opportunities to communicate, why make it such a big deal.  I'd rather think of it that way because truthfully, if I didn't...I'll cry.  And that is something I don't want my friends to see when I leave - I'd want them to remember me as "being me".  The weird, quiet and not so sociable me with a smiling face. I hope and pray that things turn out well this year for us.   

A Shot at Palanca 2012

"Hear us out and make us known.  For we are heroes who are not willing to be unsung for long." 

Just finished my entry for Palanca Awards 2012.  Hope I do win!  It's for the betterment of the course.  Generally, I wrote my thoughts about the course and how it is highly important in the society we live in now.  How I wish I could have put on more personal stories but I really can't.  The healthcare system has a "confidentiality" policy, so I might get jailed if I revealed more facts than what I wrote originally.  If the essay doesn't win, I plan to re-use it by asking permission to tell my client's stories. I believe that people will be moved more if I did it; nevertheless, the essay stands alone as it is now.  But I guess the drama will cause more people to understand PWDs more.  It will tap their potential for being empathetic, thus, decreasing the usage of degrading (and not so good) pity.

Oh and I sent in a couple of poems I did too!  Here's a picture of the envelope I sent :)  Winners will be announced on September 1.

Sending my entries for Palanca at MOA

Hiatus

I'm taking a hiatus right now because I'll be drafting works for Palanca Awards :)  Wish me luck!  Hope I'll be able to make my voice heard.